Hey loves!!
Thank you so much for being here!!! Come sit with me for a minute. Grab your coffee or your tea, get comfy, because I want to talk about something that is very close to my heart and honestly the root of everything I do in my practice. Our ancestors.
We are right in the middle of Scorpio season, and if you have ever felt like the veil gets a little thinner this time of year, you are not imagining it. Scorpio rules the deep stuff. Death and rebirth, what is hidden, what we inherit, the bonds and the debts that get passed down through blood and lineage. And with All Saints Day and All Souls Day coming up on November 1st and 2nd, this whole season is practically begging us to turn around and look at where we came from. So that is exactly what we are doing today.
Why Ancestral Veneration Matters
Here is the thing. You did not just show up out of nowhere. Somebody prayed for you before you were ever born. Somebody survived things so that you could be here reading this right now. Every one of us is standing on a long line of people who loved, struggled, built, lost, and kept going anyway.
Ancestral veneration is simply honoring that. It is remembering them, speaking their names, and keeping a relationship with them even though they are no longer here in the physical. In my practice, my ancestors come first. Before I work with the saints, before I pull a card, before anything, I check in with my people. They know me. They know my blood, my patterns, my gifts, and the things I am still working through because a lot of those things started with them.
And I want to be real with you. This is not something that belongs to one culture or one religion. Almost every culture on this earth has some way of honoring the dead. Our grandmothers did it when they kept pictures on the mantle and talked to them like they were still in the room. Some of y’all have been venerating your ancestors your whole life and just never called it that. Literally.
Start With Knowing Who They Are
Before you light a single candle, I want you to start somewhere simple. Learn your family. Learn your history.
Ask questions while you still can. Sit with your elders and let them tell the stories, even the ones you have heard fifty times. Ask about their parents and their grandparents. Where did they live? What did they do for work? What did they cook? What songs did they sing? What did they believe in? Write it all down, because one day those stories are going to be gold to you.
If your elders are already gone, or if you do not have that kind of relationship with your family, that is okay too. There are records, old photos, family bibles, obituaries, and ancestry sites that can help you piece some of it together. And if your history is hard to trace, like it is for so many of us whose families were scattered or whose records were never kept, your ancestors still know you. You do not need a full family tree to be claimed by them. Start where you are.
I remember sitting and listening to the women in my family talk, not realizing at the time that I was being handed something sacred. A lot of what I carry in my practice today came from those kitchen table conversations. So never underestimate the power of just listening to the old folks.
Be Intentional About Who You Call
Okay, now let me get a little serious with y’all, because this part matters.
Not every ancestor is on your side. I know that is not the cute and cozy version, but it is the truth. The way somebody was in life is very often the way they are after life. Death does not automatically turn a mean, hateful, or harmful person into a guardian angel. If Uncle so and so was a mess who hurt people, him passing on did not magically fix all of that.
So be intentional. When you open that door, you are not opening it to everybody. You are calling on your well and loving ancestors, the ones who want good for you and your bloodline. You can say that out loud. You are allowed to have boundaries with the dead the same way you have boundaries with the living. Honestly, that is wisdom, not disrespect.
And if there is somebody in your line who caused harm, you do not have to invite them in. You can pray for their healing from a distance and still keep your space protected. Those are two different things.
Simple Ways to Connect
Babyyyyy, you do not need anything fancy to start. Your ancestors are not looking for a Pinterest board. They are looking for you to show up. Here are some gentle ways to begin, and I want you to take what aligns with you and leave what does not.
Say their names. Out loud. There is power in speaking the names of the ones who came before you. Say them when you wake up, when you pray, or when you are just driving down the road thinking about them. A name spoken is a name remembered.
Give them water. A clear glass of fresh water is one of the simplest offerings there is. Set it out, change it regularly, and keep it clean. Water is life, and it opens the way for communication.
Keep their photos. If you have pictures, put them somewhere you will see them. Only use photos of those who have passed, and try not to mix in pictures of the living. Let them be seen.
Journal. Write to them. Tell them what is going on in your life, ask them questions, and then write down anything that comes to you afterward. Dreams, songs stuck in your head, random memories, a smell that reminds you of grandma. Write it all down. You will be surprised how it starts to connect over time.
Cook for them. Make a family recipe. Make that dish your grandmother always made on Sundays. Set a little plate aside for them before anybody else eats. Cooking with love is one of the oldest forms of honoring there is, and it brings their presence right into your kitchen.
You Are the Altar
Now here is what I really want you to hold onto. All of those things are beautiful, but ultimately, you are the altar. You are the honor.
Your ancestors live through you. Your breath, your laugh, your stubbornness, your gifts, your face. The way you love your people. Every single day that you choose to live with purpose, heal what they could not heal, and break cycles that needed breaking, you are honoring them.
Simply living with intention does so much. Being kind. Taking care of your family. Chasing the dreams they never got the chance to chase. Resting when they were never allowed to rest. That right there is veneration. Do not let anybody make you feel like you are not doing enough because you do not have a big elaborate setup. Your life is the offering.
Listen, Trust, and Be Patient
Like seriously, this is the part people struggle with the most. Once you start reaching out, you have to be still enough to listen.
Your ancestors may not answer you right away, and they may not answer you the way you expect. Sometimes it comes as a dream. Sometimes it is a feeling in your gut that you just cannot shake. Sometimes it is a song on the radio at the exact right moment, a bird that keeps showing up, or a memory that hits you out of nowhere. And sometimes it takes weeks or months before you feel anything at all.
That is okay. Relationships take time, and this is a relationship. If you just met somebody, you would not expect them to tell you all their business on day one. Keep showing up. Keep the water fresh. Keep saying their names. Be still, be patient, and when that guidance does come, trust it. Do not talk yourself out of it. They know what they are doing.
My Little Hot Take
Okay, before I let you go, I have to say this because I know somebody is going to ask. Should you show your altar? Post it, share it, let people see it?
In my opinion, that is between you, your family, and your spiritual team. Some ancestors love the attention, lol. Some want their space kept private and sacred. But that is a whole conversation on its own, so I am going to save it for another blog. Stay tuned for that one, because I have thoughts. 👀
Thank You for Being Here
Thank you so much for taking the time to sit with me and read this. It truly means the world to me. This season is such a beautiful invitation to slow down, remember, and reconnect with the people whose love is still carrying us.
Now I want to hear from you. Do you venerate your ancestors? If so, how do you honor them? And if you are just getting started, what is calling you? Drop it in the comments below, because I would love to learn from you too. 💜
Love and Hugs
xoxo,
Brittany Michelle 🐝
